Caught in the emotional whirlwind again!
How could YOU have done this to ME?
Ever been caught in an emotional whirlwind, saying and doing things that you didn't want to? Ever lost your temper, lost your reason, lost your common sense in the heat of the moment?
My neighbours across the street are in a full verbal abuse blowout! He is angry, he is frustrated, he is at boiling point. She is retaliating, standing her ground though not as loudly. Doors slam and it goes quiet for a moment, then doors open and they start again.
It's a long time since I've been involved in any aggressive interactions like that, it is no longer a part of my reality though I do remember it from what seems like a lifetime ago. So heated, so violent, so much rage, so painful. What are we actually doing when we interact with each other in such ways? This kind of behaviour comes from a place of fear, though in the midst of it we are working to instill fear in the other in some way. Accusations, blame, disbelief, guilt, shame.... How could you possibly have done this to me? How could YOU have done this to ME?
Often it's with someone we love. Sometimes it's a stranger. Why would we behave in such a way? When emotions completely take over we are being governed by our Limbic (Emotional) System - a system which is non-logical. The Limbic System reacts to stimuli in the ways that it knows. Stimulus comes in eg. partner yelling, emotions build up, breaking point is reached, Limbic system takes control, reaction is a learned behaviour eg. screaming back abuse in self-defense. To walk away or stay calm would have a better outcome but only the logical mind knows that and she's checked out for now.
Here's another example that some may relate to. A child has lost the plot and just won't stop (kicking, screaming, whinging, annoying a sibling etc.), at first your logical self is in charge and you ask nicely for them to stop. They ignore you. It continues and you ask more sternly. They ignore you. Eventually you have just had it, and you lose it too! Your Limbic (Emotional) System takes over and you react in the way that you were taught as a young child. You yell, you whack the child across their bum, you get violent, you throw them in their room. You just don't know what else to do to make them stop. Then it's done and you feel awful, you can hardly believe what you just did. Why did I do that? That's not me? Oh God I swore I would never do that to my children. I swore I would never do that again. Then you start internally abusing yourself. Double loss. By the way, when a child is behaving like that they are caught up in their emotional system too, there is no reasoning with them in that moment.
The thing is, it's difficult to respond in loving ways when you are being abused because it triggers your emotional reaction system. We can only offer others what we know and what we know was taught to us in the earliest of years by our family. The guy across the street has probably known abusive interactions since he was a child. He has now sped off down the road in his car, and I bet they are both feeling angry and hurt. Double loss.
What pain from the past are your emotions pointing to when they are out of control?
There are ways to heal these conditioned, automatic behaviours and Birth Into Being Method is one of them. When we embark on a journey of Limbic Imprint Re-coding we are able to have experiences 'in our bodies' that are based on love and bliss. These new experiences (that we may never have had before) are imprinting in our nervous system and offering alternative memories from which our emotional system can respond in times of stress. You need to have experienced love and complete acceptance before you can truly create from a place of love and complete acceptance. Your emotional system needs to know that there are other options than just it's original experiences of life and 'love'.
This is a huge topic and I'll be sharing more of the ways Limbic Imprint Re-coding can help heal your past and free you from conditioned reactions in the next newsletter. Or visit www.thebirthingfield.com to find out more now. There's so much I want to share with you.
Until then please know this ~ You are loved, you are worthy and you are so welcome here.
Blessings and Blissings,
The rational logic mind (cortex) shuts down during times of stress and the limbic system takes over - there really is no reasoning. Read this article 'Beneath the Tantrum' by lovingearthmama.
Taking the next step...
This is Sophie from Belgium, blissing out after a Birth into Being process. Sophie immersed herself for fours days of workshop last year in Australia. Next month she is diving in for a full ten days in Germany to become a Birth Into Being Apprentice.
There are new guidelines for certification as a BIB Facilitator and you can find all the details here at www.birthintobeing.com. Practitioners of the Birth Into Being Method can be found on most continents with more trainings happening each year. Some hold regular workshops whilst others incorporate the methods into their current healing practices. Check out the above website to find 10 day Intensives and 16 day Advanced Facilitator training globally. The next scheduled 10 day Intensive for Australia is early June in Bellingen, NSW.